Daydreaming: Friend or Foe?

This post could really be a furtherance of my 'You're living in a dreamworld' post. If successful, you will see an exercise in being clear where you really live. Past/Present/Future.

When I was sharing previously in my 'I love my children' post, I was referring to being really present to my children. But I would like to go further. I have had many experiences when for example; I would be in the Van with the kids on the way to something. Pretty normal. The kids would be "being kids". (translation: lots of noise) I would find myself getting frustrated, OR, having to ask the kids to repeat themselves often. What I have discovered is that allot of the time when I am in the Van with the kids, I am in fact, "lost in my thoughts".

Guess where the thoughts are. Some event or conversation that occur ed earlier. (the PAST) Some thing I need to do, accomplish, or change. (the FUTURE, laced with inadequacy).

Have you ever heard a parent say their kids are growing up too fast? I believe it's because they spend so little time being actually present to/for their kids.

Now this post isn't about making you wrong for not being present for whatever or whoever in your life. I would simply like to challenge you for a day, try to catch yourself and your thoughts. See where you really live. Perhaps for you, it is appropriate for you to be reviewing the past, or what you need to do in the future. The point really is that you are consciously aware where you are at a given moment. At the end of the day see what percentage of your day is spent in the past, present and future. What's really neat is when you see how little time you actually spend living in the real world, RIGHT NOW.

For me, being now aware; when I am in the Van with the kids, I like to stay "right now" with them. Engage with them, listen to them, interact with them. Most of the time, my past and future can wait till later. I am in a closed in space with my kids for a period of time, why not turn it into an opportunity to really "be" with my kids.

The title of this post is "Daydreaming: Friend or Foe?". Take a day to see where you live. See if you are denying yourself or others by not being present. Only you can decide whether daydreaming is "friend or foe", but is that really the point?

Love Always;

The WebGodFather

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Seasonal Greetings 2005

Seasons Greetings from the WebGodFather.

Hold on, I don't think so. If you know me, you know I could not POSSIBLY offer seasons greetings and be authentic.

SOOOO, I would like to take this time extend to you, regardless of your religion, the deepest and unconditional love of Christ.

Christians celebrate Christmas this time of the year. It is not known or important what the actual date was of Jesus birthday, but rather WHY it happened. In fact Christmas then followed by Easter were 2 times Christ unconditionally offered a gift to mankind. Where people will argue religious matters and turn them into an excuse to war with each other, I wanted to share with you the Love of Christ.

You see Christmas followed then by Easter, symbolize the birth, death and resurrection of Christ. But when push comes to shove, what it really was, was a message from God. "I love you, I LOVE YOU ALL! And to show it I offer you this gift. Jesus."

But like when you receive a gift for, whatever reason, do you ever pull out your wallet and say "so how much do I owe you for that?". Wouldn't that be the most offensive thing a person could do, to a giver of a gift. This gift was/IS free. But what loving God, would force you to receive it. Free will, and unconditional love is what God is all about and has demonstrated since the beginning of creation.

I would like to convey to you NOW, the love of Christ, that comes with no hitches and no call to condemn yourself or each other. He offers a free gift to you, it is your choice whether you wish to accept it. Whether you do or not has no bearing on His love for YOU.

Should this message evoke a question in you about what this free gift is, feel free to contact me at thewebgodfather@gmail.com, but if you don't, know this, I love you. I love that you are free to express yourself in any way you like, as that is another reminder for ME, of how much God loves us ALL.

Peace,

The WebGodFather

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I love my kids, BIG SUPRISE

Something really cool is happening this week for me. Now it may sound funny and even obvious. But I have become acutely aware of how much I love my kids.

Several times I caught myself imposing, what are likely, unrealistic controls over my kids. My son was playing with a remote control car that is connected by a wire to the controller. He was swinging the car around by the wire, and I immediately told him to NOT do that as the toy will likely break. But immediately I realized, he was having fun, it was a dollar store car, and I am teaching him to hold back. I was stunned; first that I am such a controlling individual, secondly that I would rob him and limit him in his self expression.

This is not what I am about. I have rebelled against unreasonable controls my whole life. The concept of playing full out in life (in whatever you do) is what I am all about. But there I was stifling my sons self expression. I immediately informed him to play his heart out.

Why do I want to rob the joy of now, of the joy of NOW? I hear seniors get to the end of their lives and often say things like, "If I could do it all over again, I would have brought out the good dishes more often". This relates to our nature of living our lives for "one day" instead of "this day".

Well I am not going to waste any time trying to figure out the "why" of this "one day" mentality. Even in this blog.

Back to my kids. I have been enjoying my kids profoundly this past week. I have these moments where I have a glimpse of just "this moment" with my kids. And what I see is fun, love, adventure, playfulness, risk; and it is REALLY exciting. I see my kids and my heart just starts pounding as I realize, wow, these are my kids.

The muscle of living solely in this moment, one day at a time is new for me. So let me reveal to you that I am feeling the benefits and the pains of exercising a new muscle, but its worth it. I have four kids and they all rock. The all have their own views on things. They are not extensions of me. God created them to be individuals and to express themselves thusly. I guess what I am really saying, is that I am finally seeing my kids as individuals, and I could not be happier. How shallow it would be if they were simply an evolution of me. I think the world has enough of ME already. My siblings would agree that they certainly have had enough of ME. ha ha.

Love Always from,

The WebGodFather
--
Dan Hewton
Love me, or don't, either way, I love YOU.

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Integrity: To be, or not to be!?

Last night I had the pleasure and honour of assisting in the setup of the centre. I was reminded of a breakthrough I had a number a weeks back. But first, please let me share with you something beautiful that happened.

To preface this, let me first explain, that I was originally scheduled to assist full time over the entire weekend. This came about following my incredible experience assisting for the first time ever, in Novembers Forum weekend. I quickly discovered I had made a mistake. The mistake being not communicating with my wife. I'll save that story for another post, but suffice it to say, breakdowns were forthcoming.

I had committed myself when I should not have, and now had to break it. This was very hard for me. I reduced my commitment to Thursday setup, and Tuesday night graduation. Mistake again, I was already committed to something on the Tuesday night. Now I would have to break my commitment again. Thursday night, my wife finds out she has a meeting and won't be able to get home on time for me to be on time for my commitment. My wife calls to let me know her meeting has gone late, and now I am going to be breaking my newest promise of being there for 7pm.

Not pretty so far right? I am REAL late, OH, and I have a conference call at 8pm that I MUST participate in. I am now on an anti-integrity rampage (so I thought at the time). I finally arrived at the centre for 7:45pm. Just in time to meet everyone and introduce myself. But this is where the magic begun.

In this room was a face, a face I had not seen in 20 years. It was the face of an individual who has never left my mind since. This individual and I worked together 20+ years ago at a gas station. We did not get along then. We had different "views". <grin> In fact my friends, I treated this person shamefully. I was very weak and insecure, and chose to victimize this person with intimidation and arrogance so I could feel strong. It is a time and an event, that I felt shame for ever since.

So here before me was a chance to "clean up" IN PERSON, a mess that was 20 years old. Everything seemed to point towards me not even making it that night. But even though I was barely able to fulfil on my original commitment, integrity drove me to be my word. I made a mistake and the consequences were a symphony of broken promises. Being my word drove me to be there that evening, even if it meant only be there a fraction of what I originally agreed to. If I had just, given up; Phil and I would have been denied the opportunity of giving each other the gift of freedom.

Now the story deepens as Phil, was feeling that he may have made a mistake in committing to this weekend, as his business needs him. All the "little voices" in his mind, were telling him that he should honour his business, NOT his word. But Phil (and his word), triumphed in that "conversation" with the voices, and he made sure he was there last night to fulfil on his word.

Friends, by Phil and I both being a stand for, "being our word", the possibility was created of reconciliation, forgiveness, healing, friendship, love. I am becoming emotional right now as I type this, because only right now am I getting the emotions of last nights meeting. (in other words, it is hitting me now emotionally, how special and important being my word was/is) This person who I treated so badly, so many years ago, had nothing but positive and encouraging things to say too and about me in our group.

Forgiveness is real, and can be yours if you are willing to give up something. The second I saw Phil's face, I knew what I had to do. I had to give up being strong, and being right. What was at stake was my freedom. Freedom from years of condemnation of myself for treating Phil so poorly. It took courage. What if Phil was still actually angry. (he says at first he barely remembered the event, or was it that be barely remembered ME. <GRIN>not possible as I am the centre of the universe... moving right along.. ha ha ha) But the reward was/is great.

Have a good day today my friends, and consider the possibilities that can be created by living your word. You may be surprised in ways you never imagined.

Love always,

TheWebGodFather

PS: the breakthrough I was reminded of (the opening statement of this post) will be posted separately.

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You're living in a dreamworld!

Where do you live right now? In the past, the present, or the future. (or a combination of the three). I realized very powerfully after my Forum weekend, that I was living in a dream world. The past was crippling my marriage, the future was giving me health problems, and my now really sucked!

But I discovered something that I will now share with you;

The past and the future only exist as memories or thoughts. In other words, ONLY IN OUR BRAINS. The only thing that is real is now. So therefore if you can get to, right now, and become clear for yourself what exists right now, you can seize the reality that the past and the future are things that only have power over you, when you let them take control of your present.

The past was, what the past was. BUT; it WAS; it no longer IS. The future will be what the future will be. And it will be the fruit of how you spend your NOW. So by releasing the past into the past, and releasing the "one day" into the future, you are left only with NOW. Being who you are.

You are either accepting who you are, or you are rejecting who you are. If you are fat, you are fat. If you are skinny, you are skinny etc etc. You can only be right now, who you are right now. As you will continue to be who you are, regardless of your acceptance or lack thereof, consider the futility of your rejection. The future has not happened yet, so the future is filled with possibility. But if you are crippling your now by not accepting what and who you are, you are also crippling your future.

You are the creator of your future, which will be the sum of what you accept AND are creating now. We have already established the past exists only in our minds, so therefor it has NO power. Every moment is a brand new moment to create, so you are free to create whatever you want. Mourn the past if you must, but to carry this now imaginary thing along with you, while you are trying to create a possibility, will simply get in your way and stifle your possibility.

One simple thing to get, is that in every occurrence there is "what happened" and then there is "the story we gave it" (or the meaning we gave it). Why can 10 people see an event and have 10 different stories? Whose is the true story? NONE OF THEM. If I drop a hammer on my foot. The only truth is that I dropped a hammer on my foot. Maybe some people like dropping hammers on their feet. <grin> I personally don't like dropping a hammer on my foot. An observer might find the hammer dropping on my foot quite amusing. Another observer might be filled with compassion and offer to have me locked up in a place where I couldn't get a hammer. The point is, we are "meaning making machines". All of the above mentioned are stories created from each persons mind.

If you can dissect an occurrence into 2 categories. The "what happened" pile, and the "story I gave it" pile, you will quickly see your past in a completely different light. You will realize that "you have been living in a dream world". You will see you have been creating stories your whole life around the events in your life. You then went on to boldly declare that your "story" was the "what happened".

Stop one day and listen to the voice in your head. What does it say to you. When you are in a conversation with a person, listen to what that never ending voice in your head is actually saying. You may discover that allot or some of the conversation you might share of that same conversation with another person; actually existed in your head. Because your mind is constantly working on giving everything meaning.

So what is the fruits of such a revelation? Accept who you are. You are not broken, you are not right or wrong. You are who you are. Fight it, and you will suffer. Accept yourself UNCONDITIONALLY, so you can, minus the condemnation of yourself, take responsibility for yourself and your life. If you fight it, you will always be blaming others or imaginary things for the things you do or the things that happen in your life. But if you accept yourself, you won't be depressed/angry/resentful when you show up again in some circumstance. You are who you are. Now you can take responsibility for yourself out of integrity, not guilt.

Create the life you love and live it powerfully. Stay always present to the only thing that exists. NOW. To be anywhere other than now is like purposefully shooting yourself in the foot. I would invite you to take some time and think about who you are, warts and all. When you think you have it all, why not call someone you love and trust, and share ALL of it with them. Then why not go the next step and share the possibility you are creating for yourself with that person. They can only know you as the person you are, so if you are always trying to be something else, how are they going to know what or who to love?????

Love always from,

The WebGodFather

Accept yourself?

I recently had a breakthrough in the area of self acceptance. During the Forum weekend I heard of the possibility of self acceptance and peace. I was thrilled by this, but learned days later that in fact, I was still not accepting some things.

I had a particular area for me, that I would not accept. It seemed too bad/evil to accept and was unfair to those around me who were exposed to it, so therefore I could never accept it.

BIG PROBLEM.

What I soon discovered was that my resistence to the existence of this certain thing was getting worse. I was becoming a wreck. Breakdowns were all around me.

I don't know what specifically happened, but what matters is that I woke up one day and realized something. I am what I am! Say it to yourself; "I am what I am". This particular aspect of my life is a particular aspect of my life. To deny it, is to condemn myself to being a slave to it. But what I discovered was that it was not just the denial that was causing a disconnect, it was the self condemnation.

We are "meaning making machines". In other words, we judge/compare the crap out of everyone and everything around us; but most of all, OURSELVES. When I "got" that I am what I am, and ACCEPTED it. The transformation began. In this case the issue for myself was that I am an angry person. When I accepted that I am an angry person, and that I will continue to be an angry person; I was in a position, now freed by acceptance, to take responsibility for my anger.

I now find myself in a position when I get angry, I quickly see it, accept it and take responsibility for it. No more judging myself. No more condemning myself. No more thinking I am broken and a bad person. The coolest thing, is that because I don't fight it, now I am angry FAR LESS than ever before.

Is there something in you that you don't like? Do you wish this one thing in your personality would dissappear. From my recent breakthrough, I would challenge that the best thing you could do is face that facts. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE! To fight it, insures it dogs you all your days.

So ask yourself, if you lived into the possibility that for every moment from this day forth, whenever you would judge or condemn something about yourself, you would replace that with UNCONDITIONAL acceptance, what would that free you up to be?

Love always from

TheWebGodFather
You live in 3 places, 1 is real. The Past, The Now, The Future

ps: please forward this link to anyone you can think of, who has something they don't like about themselves.