Accept yourself?
I recently had a breakthrough in the area of self acceptance. During the Forum weekend I heard of the possibility of self acceptance and peace. I was thrilled by this, but learned days later that in fact, I was still not accepting some things.
I had a particular area for me, that I would not accept. It seemed too bad/evil to accept and was unfair to those around me who were exposed to it, so therefore I could never accept it.
BIG PROBLEM.
What I soon discovered was that my resistence to the existence of this certain thing was getting worse. I was becoming a wreck. Breakdowns were all around me.
I don't know what specifically happened, but what matters is that I woke up one day and realized something. I am what I am! Say it to yourself; "I am what I am". This particular aspect of my life is a particular aspect of my life. To deny it, is to condemn myself to being a slave to it. But what I discovered was that it was not just the denial that was causing a disconnect, it was the self condemnation.
We are "meaning making machines". In other words, we judge/compare the crap out of everyone and everything around us; but most of all, OURSELVES. When I "got" that I am what I am, and ACCEPTED it. The transformation began. In this case the issue for myself was that I am an angry person. When I accepted that I am an angry person, and that I will continue to be an angry person; I was in a position, now freed by acceptance, to take responsibility for my anger.
I now find myself in a position when I get angry, I quickly see it, accept it and take responsibility for it. No more judging myself. No more condemning myself. No more thinking I am broken and a bad person. The coolest thing, is that because I don't fight it, now I am angry FAR LESS than ever before.
Is there something in you that you don't like? Do you wish this one thing in your personality would dissappear. From my recent breakthrough, I would challenge that the best thing you could do is face that facts. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE! To fight it, insures it dogs you all your days.
So ask yourself, if you lived into the possibility that for every moment from this day forth, whenever you would judge or condemn something about yourself, you would replace that with UNCONDITIONAL acceptance, what would that free you up to be?
Love always from
TheWebGodFather
You live in 3 places, 1 is real. The Past, The Now, The Future
ps: please forward this link to anyone you can think of, who has something they don't like about themselves.
I had a particular area for me, that I would not accept. It seemed too bad/evil to accept and was unfair to those around me who were exposed to it, so therefore I could never accept it.
BIG PROBLEM.
What I soon discovered was that my resistence to the existence of this certain thing was getting worse. I was becoming a wreck. Breakdowns were all around me.
I don't know what specifically happened, but what matters is that I woke up one day and realized something. I am what I am! Say it to yourself; "I am what I am". This particular aspect of my life is a particular aspect of my life. To deny it, is to condemn myself to being a slave to it. But what I discovered was that it was not just the denial that was causing a disconnect, it was the self condemnation.
We are "meaning making machines". In other words, we judge/compare the crap out of everyone and everything around us; but most of all, OURSELVES. When I "got" that I am what I am, and ACCEPTED it. The transformation began. In this case the issue for myself was that I am an angry person. When I accepted that I am an angry person, and that I will continue to be an angry person; I was in a position, now freed by acceptance, to take responsibility for my anger.
I now find myself in a position when I get angry, I quickly see it, accept it and take responsibility for it. No more judging myself. No more condemning myself. No more thinking I am broken and a bad person. The coolest thing, is that because I don't fight it, now I am angry FAR LESS than ever before.
Is there something in you that you don't like? Do you wish this one thing in your personality would dissappear. From my recent breakthrough, I would challenge that the best thing you could do is face that facts. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE! To fight it, insures it dogs you all your days.
So ask yourself, if you lived into the possibility that for every moment from this day forth, whenever you would judge or condemn something about yourself, you would replace that with UNCONDITIONAL acceptance, what would that free you up to be?
Love always from
TheWebGodFather
You live in 3 places, 1 is real. The Past, The Now, The Future
ps: please forward this link to anyone you can think of, who has something they don't like about themselves.
posted by Daniel Hewton at
11:57 AM
6 Comments:
Nice work Dan, both the site and yourself...
MB
By
Anonymous, at 2:00 PM
Thanks Dan for building the site and providing an opportunity to have more Dan through the week and to share breakthroughs and breakdowns.
By
Anonymous, at 9:34 AM
Hi Dan,
I gave your "Accept yourself" some thought the other night and decided to respond. While accepting our own flaws may make us feel better (which is not necessarily a bad thing) there are other considerations. A common phrase is "Self praise, is no recommendation" in the same vein "Self absolution" does not free you (absolve you) from blame. Rather than just forgiving your yourself for losing your temper I think you would be better off accessing why you got angry in the first place. Anger is a form of intimidation to persuade someone else to do something you wish them to do. If you have had to resort to intimidation to achieve a certain goal/aim/discussion, then you have really failed to persuade him/her by using reason. Rather than forgiving yourself for losing your temper, you would be better off realising when you've lost your temper, reconsidering how you could have achieved the same outcome without getting angry, then next time trying your persuasive powers instead. Then if you achieve the same result using reason, you can really congratulate yourself, as you will have genuinely achieved something. Rather than sweeping it under the carpet. I hope this helps. Mike in the UK.
By
Anonymous, at 11:53 AM
Mike in the UK, makes a great point. We certainly don't achieve much if all we do is strive to feel good about ourselves, regardless of the impact in those around us.
Mike, I am currently examining exactly what you point out; what is the root or the cause in the first place. When I have that, I will likely post that. (I am close now, thanks in part to NOT fighting what I am. My mind is now clear to see.)
I would like to clarify something. In accepting your "flaw", or rather your behaviour; instead of denying its existence (sweeping it under the carpet), or fighting it; you leave yourself with no inner struggle or self condemnation.
This does NOT absolve you from consequences or responsibility. In fact, now freed, you are equipped to be truly responsible for it.
There are conseqences to everything we do in life. But the point is, if you can accept what you are, (not deny it, offer excuses for it, compare it to others)you NOW are in a position to truly take responsibility for it.
I see the evidence/fruits of this, by the radical reduction of outbursts. That said, I look forward to sharing with you what I discover to be the root of this anger.
Thanks Mike, it is always good to hear from you my friend.
By
Daniel Hewton, at 12:17 PM
Hey, have to say I hope drug addicts, alchoholics, rapist and fellons do not think this is an aceptable way of thinking. I realize these are the extremes but we are reaching out to many people in this forum and they are here too.
By
Anonymous, at 12:50 AM
I truly believe that if rapists, alcoholics, etc were to think this way; we would live in a much safer world.
These individuals would now be in a position of taking responsibility for who/what they are and getting treatment for it. Be it counselling or even self imposed incarceration.
There are consequences for everything we do in this world. Good or bad. And there are also those who are don't even know what/who they are. So the point is that if they actually knew, and accepted what they are; THEN they could take responsibility for what/who they are.
This point applies to ANYONE.
Where we are all in danger, is for the people who reside in the "don't know that they don't know" level of consciousness, and the people that refuse to accept who/what they are. How can they ever take responsibility for themselves. It would never occur to them.
By
Daniel Hewton, at 7:23 AM
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