Integrity: To be, or not to be!?
Last night I had the pleasure and honour of assisting in the setup of the centre. I was reminded of a breakthrough I had a number a weeks back. But first, please let me share with you something beautiful that happened.
To preface this, let me first explain, that I was originally scheduled to assist full time over the entire weekend. This came about following my incredible experience assisting for the first time ever, in Novembers Forum weekend. I quickly discovered I had made a mistake. The mistake being not communicating with my wife. I'll save that story for another post, but suffice it to say, breakdowns were forthcoming.
I had committed myself when I should not have, and now had to break it. This was very hard for me. I reduced my commitment to Thursday setup, and Tuesday night graduation. Mistake again, I was already committed to something on the Tuesday night. Now I would have to break my commitment again. Thursday night, my wife finds out she has a meeting and won't be able to get home on time for me to be on time for my commitment. My wife calls to let me know her meeting has gone late, and now I am going to be breaking my newest promise of being there for 7pm.
Not pretty so far right? I am REAL late, OH, and I have a conference call at 8pm that I MUST participate in. I am now on an anti-integrity rampage (so I thought at the time). I finally arrived at the centre for 7:45pm. Just in time to meet everyone and introduce myself. But this is where the magic begun.
In this room was a face, a face I had not seen in 20 years. It was the face of an individual who has never left my mind since. This individual and I worked together 20+ years ago at a gas station. We did not get along then. We had different "views". <grin> In fact my friends, I treated this person shamefully. I was very weak and insecure, and chose to victimize this person with intimidation and arrogance so I could feel strong. It is a time and an event, that I felt shame for ever since.
So here before me was a chance to "clean up" IN PERSON, a mess that was 20 years old. Everything seemed to point towards me not even making it that night. But even though I was barely able to fulfil on my original commitment, integrity drove me to be my word. I made a mistake and the consequences were a symphony of broken promises. Being my word drove me to be there that evening, even if it meant only be there a fraction of what I originally agreed to. If I had just, given up; Phil and I would have been denied the opportunity of giving each other the gift of freedom.
Now the story deepens as Phil, was feeling that he may have made a mistake in committing to this weekend, as his business needs him. All the "little voices" in his mind, were telling him that he should honour his business, NOT his word. But Phil (and his word), triumphed in that "conversation" with the voices, and he made sure he was there last night to fulfil on his word.
Friends, by Phil and I both being a stand for, "being our word", the possibility was created of reconciliation, forgiveness, healing, friendship, love. I am becoming emotional right now as I type this, because only right now am I getting the emotions of last nights meeting. (in other words, it is hitting me now emotionally, how special and important being my word was/is) This person who I treated so badly, so many years ago, had nothing but positive and encouraging things to say too and about me in our group.
Forgiveness is real, and can be yours if you are willing to give up something. The second I saw Phil's face, I knew what I had to do. I had to give up being strong, and being right. What was at stake was my freedom. Freedom from years of condemnation of myself for treating Phil so poorly. It took courage. What if Phil was still actually angry. (he says at first he barely remembered the event, or was it that be barely remembered ME. <GRIN>not possible as I am the centre of the universe... moving right along.. ha ha ha) But the reward was/is great.
Have a good day today my friends, and consider the possibilities that can be created by living your word. You may be surprised in ways you never imagined.
Love always,
TheWebGodFather
PS: the breakthrough I was reminded of (the opening statement of this post) will be posted separately.
Add this site to your RSS client: http://landmarkeducation-rocks.blogspot.com/atom.xml
To preface this, let me first explain, that I was originally scheduled to assist full time over the entire weekend. This came about following my incredible experience assisting for the first time ever, in Novembers Forum weekend. I quickly discovered I had made a mistake. The mistake being not communicating with my wife. I'll save that story for another post, but suffice it to say, breakdowns were forthcoming.
I had committed myself when I should not have, and now had to break it. This was very hard for me. I reduced my commitment to Thursday setup, and Tuesday night graduation. Mistake again, I was already committed to something on the Tuesday night. Now I would have to break my commitment again. Thursday night, my wife finds out she has a meeting and won't be able to get home on time for me to be on time for my commitment. My wife calls to let me know her meeting has gone late, and now I am going to be breaking my newest promise of being there for 7pm.
Not pretty so far right? I am REAL late, OH, and I have a conference call at 8pm that I MUST participate in. I am now on an anti-integrity rampage (so I thought at the time). I finally arrived at the centre for 7:45pm. Just in time to meet everyone and introduce myself. But this is where the magic begun.
In this room was a face, a face I had not seen in 20 years. It was the face of an individual who has never left my mind since. This individual and I worked together 20+ years ago at a gas station. We did not get along then. We had different "views". <grin> In fact my friends, I treated this person shamefully. I was very weak and insecure, and chose to victimize this person with intimidation and arrogance so I could feel strong. It is a time and an event, that I felt shame for ever since.
So here before me was a chance to "clean up" IN PERSON, a mess that was 20 years old. Everything seemed to point towards me not even making it that night. But even though I was barely able to fulfil on my original commitment, integrity drove me to be my word. I made a mistake and the consequences were a symphony of broken promises. Being my word drove me to be there that evening, even if it meant only be there a fraction of what I originally agreed to. If I had just, given up; Phil and I would have been denied the opportunity of giving each other the gift of freedom.
Now the story deepens as Phil, was feeling that he may have made a mistake in committing to this weekend, as his business needs him. All the "little voices" in his mind, were telling him that he should honour his business, NOT his word. But Phil (and his word), triumphed in that "conversation" with the voices, and he made sure he was there last night to fulfil on his word.
Friends, by Phil and I both being a stand for, "being our word", the possibility was created of reconciliation, forgiveness, healing, friendship, love. I am becoming emotional right now as I type this, because only right now am I getting the emotions of last nights meeting. (in other words, it is hitting me now emotionally, how special and important being my word was/is) This person who I treated so badly, so many years ago, had nothing but positive and encouraging things to say too and about me in our group.
Forgiveness is real, and can be yours if you are willing to give up something. The second I saw Phil's face, I knew what I had to do. I had to give up being strong, and being right. What was at stake was my freedom. Freedom from years of condemnation of myself for treating Phil so poorly. It took courage. What if Phil was still actually angry. (he says at first he barely remembered the event, or was it that be barely remembered ME. <GRIN>not possible as I am the centre of the universe... moving right along.. ha ha ha) But the reward was/is great.
Have a good day today my friends, and consider the possibilities that can be created by living your word. You may be surprised in ways you never imagined.
Love always,
TheWebGodFather
PS: the breakthrough I was reminded of (the opening statement of this post) will be posted separately.
Add this site to your RSS client: http://landmarkeducation-rocks.blogspot.com/atom.xml
posted by Daniel Hewton at
10:49 AM
1 Comments:
Wow Dan.
Just philosophizing here but I've come to wonder whether anything can happen by chance. If we generate the world through our listening and are closed to something as a possibility, can it even happen?
It's eerie how when you're open to something happening, the world provides. And when you're closed, the world provides for that too.
--AP
By
Anonymous, at 11:24 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home