Reality Check

Before I share with you something that I feel very vulnerable in sharing, I want to share  with you something I learned in my previous profession.  (I think I say share too much in the previous sentence <grin>)

It is called "the 4 levels of consciousness".  Some of you may have heard or seen the 3, but the complete set includes 4.  They are as follows:

You don't know that you don't know.

You know that you don't know.

You don't know that you know.

You know that you know.

Example 1 (You don't know that you don't know) is the blind spots you have in life.  You are completely oblivious of something about yourself.

Example 2 (You know that you don't know) is where you discover something about yourself that has been hidden.  This is one of my favourites because now you can do something about it.

Example 3 (You don't know that you know) is where you are really good at something (it comes naturally) but you cannot explain why.  (this one is frustrating because if your desire is to duplicate yourself or teach, you don't know where to begin.

Example 4 (You know that you know) is where you are good at something and can breakdown exactly how to get there.  This is the pinnacle of consciousness, if your intention is duplication.

I have had these concepts floating in my brain for years and even boasted about being hungry to find out what I didn't know that I didn't know. 

As I become more and more aware of who I am, I am amazed with how self centered and immature I have been in my life, and that it continues.  Some of my biggest frustrations have come from when I discovered blind spots, but continued in the behavior as though they were still blind spots.  In fact, armed with this new knowledge I am now equipped with the evidence to really REALLY make myself wrong and judge the crap out of myself.  After all isn't it wrong to compete with your 2 year old daughter for "centre of the world" status?  <grin>

Look, this post is about my next statement:

If there is even ONE person who reads this blog who thinks "hey, this Dan guy seems to have it going on.  He really gets it."  I want YOU (the one person) to know that I struggle just as much (maybe more?  wait, that is me getting on the pity pot again... SLAP) with being responsible for my conduct.  I have had a life time of exercising selfish and immature muscles, and quite frankly, they don't want to go away without a fight.  The good news is that if I am prepared to live in the "NOW" of life and not in the past where are my failures live; I can leave these self destructive patterns in the past where they belong.

I want to thank those people who are there for me, that encourage me, that hold me accountable to the life I am creating.  I don't know that it is possible to make a meaningful life without partners.  So for those of you that have agreed to be mine, I want you to know that I love you, and I appreciate you.

For those of you that are not active partners, please know this, I care more about YOU realizing you need partners in your life and YOU having the life that you want.

I talk about allot of "neat" concepts, but they will never become anything more than "neat concepts" unless you enroll others as your partners.  So please consider today; do you love your life?  Is it powerful and inspiring?  If it isn't, why not create one that really inspires you.  Then call some people you love and trust and enrol them in it, and to being your partners in creating this life you desire.

Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read my ramblings, it truly is a labour of love for me to share myself with you.  Please don't let it just be a "good read", take action for yourself and make a difference that makes a difference.

Love Always,

The WebGodFather


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Not sure if this a better picture of me than the original I posted, but the horse sure is handsome. 

The Game of Life

If you can see life as really being a game, and that you really are free to choose to "play" whatever part you want in it; consider now, who you are in the game.

In English: Life is a game. Everyday since you can remember, you have already been choosing to "play" a certain role in this game. Victim, victor, happy, sad, etc etc.

What if you woke up tomorrow and could choose; "today, I am going to be an actor; and my role will be: a responsible father of 4 who is fun loving, faithful, entertaining, and a caring person to those around me." (whatever YOU want)

Consider that you are the only one who knows your part, and when you slip up, the audience won't know and therefore cannot judge you. And if you are looking at it as really being a game, and that no one is going to condemn you for trying something out, you really are free to create and try out the kind of life you want.

I am not sure if I have been clear here so let me share from my life.

I have allot of real serious stuff pressing in on me right now. I am finding myself getting stressed out and anxious. I could give myself some pat advice to just look at what is happening right NOW, (even from my previous posts) but sometimes I slide into the past or the future and get stressed. After all, I have had a lifetime of not being all there. <grin>

I was reminded recently of the simple fact that my life is a game and that I can choose who I will be in it. But it takes something of me to move this realization from being a concept to being a reality.

Stuff happens in life that I have no control over. But I DO have control over who I will BE in this life. I am going to (play the role of) be a person unshaken by the events of the day. I am going to be a person who rolls with things and lands on their feet. But I may also throw into this day the role of being a fun Dad and a thoughtful husband.

Now understand, I may win an academy award for my performance, or maybe I won't. But I tell you this, I will be what I will choose to be. I have been given a gift of free will and a brain to flex it. When you first start working out, do you perform like an Olympic athlete? No, but you do need to exercise/practise to get stronger.

I will let you know how my game is going; but really consider for yourself, what role have you been playing in the game of life so far? You don't like the role you've been playing? Well try this on. Fire that role, and give some thought about what role would be effective for you having the life you dream of! Let me know how it goes.

Love Always,

The WebGodFather

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Now aren't these little darlings, little darlings.  

Your life is what you listen for!

I think I have always known this; my life is what I am listening for. 

You have possibly heard the term "self fulfilling prophecies".  I have heard this term my whole life and believed it to be true, but what I did not realize till very recently is how far down the rabbit hole this goes.  I have come to the conclusion for myself that my ENTIRE life is the sum of a lifetime of "listening for". 

There are some phrases that for me became psychological cliches:  "tell a kid he is stupid long enough, he'll believe it."  But what I would challenge is that it goes deeper.

If for example you were told you were stupid, fat, ugly, great, gifted; you likely eventually believed it, and believed it to define who you are.  (well the defining, we will leave for another post)  This post is to be how that belief functionally impacts you on a day in day out basis forever afterwards.

Once again, if you were told you were stupid, then eventually went on to believe it, you would actually begin to "listen for" in your life, things from a "stupid" persons perspective.  You would attract "stupid" friends, you would engage in stupid activities, you would believe stupid things.  The phrase "guilt by association" is more related to how you had "listened for" in your life up to that point, so that now you had friends that fit the profile you now believed to be defining you.

But lets get to what "listening for" IS and where it shows up everyday for every human on the planet today;

"I hate my boss, he is so critical, when in fact, he has no clue how to do his own job!!".  This is what people say, but did you realize that that same person will then start work at 9am "listening for" his/her boss to be critical, incompetant, and possibly evil.  <grin>  I know, none of you think this way.  ha ha

The boss walks by and says, "Dan, that report you filed was inaccurate and I needed it yesterday!".  I get defensive because I arrived at work expecting him to say any number of things just like that, because I was "listening for" him to BE a certain way.  You always find what you're looking for.  Now what is interesting about what my boss says in my example is that he is simply saying "what is so".  The report WAS innaccurate, and I HAD promised it yesterday.  But because I was "listening for" him to be critical, his simple declaration of the facts, through my listening, BECAME critical.  It is hard to respect someone when you are expecting them to treat you poorly.  This particular post connects to "you're living in a dreamworld".  The world of the real, and the world of the imagined.  Relationships are fractured because we don't even see that we are living in a dreamworld.  My job may be in jeapardy because I am too busy "listening for" my boss be critical, and miss that I am not honouring my responsibilities.

What I have discovered is extremely powerful.  I can make my "listening for" anything I want.  Lets say we all agreed that my boss WAS a jerk and critical and whatever other negative possible thing.  If you can accept there is nothing you can change in anyone else, and it is not your job to do so anyway, you can now begin to take responsibity by sculpting what your "listening for" will be.

"My boss is detail oriented, honours his word, knows where his shortcomings are."  Can you imagine the difference THIS "listening for" would make, coming from me, applied to the above example.  If you are someone who honours your word/integrity (you do what you say will do, when you say you will do it), do you think you might find it annoying being around a person who routinely does NOT?  The boss seems to be frustrated and negative around me because I routinely don't live up to my word or committments.  If you are a person who likes to make sure the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed, how would you feel being around a person who is routinely sloppy about their work and LATE.  The boss frankly has every right to be frustrated about me; based on the above example.

If I however began to "listen for" my boss to be a person who is detail oriented, honours his word, knows what his shortcomings are; I can see him in a totally different light. 

HERE'S THE CATCH.  In order for me to change my "listening for", I must first be prepared to accept full responsibilty for myself.  "If you can accept that you are the source of things, you can say how your life will go."   This is not a spiritual statement in any way but rather an understanding of your functional day to day responsibility and contribution to your life and those around you.  If you are a person who believes external things are always responsible for how your life is, you can never fully take responsibility for your life and enjoy the power of the life you have been given.

In order to change your "listening for", you must be prepared to accept a whole new level of responsibility in your life, and cease the idea that you are the product (or victim) of circumstances in the past.  I have done that my whole life and now realize just how pathetic/lazy/and SELF DESTRUCTIVE that way of thinking is.  Basically that is the easy way out.  It takes much more effort to take responsibility than it does to blame something or someone else for how our life is RIGHT NOW.  This thought has nailed me right between the eyes.

My marriage has suffered because I "listen for" certain types of things.  Guess what; I find what I am listening for EVERY TIME.  This lets me be right (as I predicted it) and my wife to be wrong.  How unfair is that crap.  I am declaring this day, a whole new level of responsibility for myself, and that is to "listen for" a completely different set of things from my wife.  As a Christian I have been taught the principle of "meditating on things that are good".  This connects to the concept of a persons "listening for".

I look forward to sharing in the NEAR future, how my wife and I have been impacted by what I "listen for".


The WebGodFather

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