Your life is what you listen for!
I think I have always known this; my life is what I am listening for.
You have possibly heard the term "self fulfilling prophecies". I have heard this term my whole life and believed it to be true, but what I did not realize till very recently is how far down the rabbit hole this goes. I have come to the conclusion for myself that my ENTIRE life is the sum of a lifetime of "listening for".
There are some phrases that for me became psychological cliches: "tell a kid he is stupid long enough, he'll believe it." But what I would challenge is that it goes deeper.
If for example you were told you were stupid, fat, ugly, great, gifted; you likely eventually believed it, and believed it to define who you are. (well the defining, we will leave for another post) This post is to be how that belief functionally impacts you on a day in day out basis forever afterwards.
Once again, if you were told you were stupid, then eventually went on to believe it, you would actually begin to "listen for" in your life, things from a "stupid" persons perspective. You would attract "stupid" friends, you would engage in stupid activities, you would believe stupid things. The phrase "guilt by association" is more related to how you had "listened for" in your life up to that point, so that now you had friends that fit the profile you now believed to be defining you.
But lets get to what "listening for" IS and where it shows up everyday for every human on the planet today;
"I hate my boss, he is so critical, when in fact, he has no clue how to do his own job!!". This is what people say, but did you realize that that same person will then start work at 9am "listening for" his/her boss to be critical, incompetant, and possibly evil. <grin> I know, none of you think this way. ha ha
The boss walks by and says, "Dan, that report you filed was inaccurate and I needed it yesterday!". I get defensive because I arrived at work expecting him to say any number of things just like that, because I was "listening for" him to BE a certain way. You always find what you're looking for. Now what is interesting about what my boss says in my example is that he is simply saying "what is so". The report WAS innaccurate, and I HAD promised it yesterday. But because I was "listening for" him to be critical, his simple declaration of the facts, through my listening, BECAME critical. It is hard to respect someone when you are expecting them to treat you poorly. This particular post connects to "you're living in a dreamworld". The world of the real, and the world of the imagined. Relationships are fractured because we don't even see that we are living in a dreamworld. My job may be in jeapardy because I am too busy "listening for" my boss be critical, and miss that I am not honouring my responsibilities.
What I have discovered is extremely powerful. I can make my "listening for" anything I want. Lets say we all agreed that my boss WAS a jerk and critical and whatever other negative possible thing. If you can accept there is nothing you can change in anyone else, and it is not your job to do so anyway, you can now begin to take responsibity by sculpting what your "listening for" will be.
"My boss is detail oriented, honours his word, knows where his shortcomings are." Can you imagine the difference THIS "listening for" would make, coming from me, applied to the above example. If you are someone who honours your word/integrity (you do what you say will do, when you say you will do it), do you think you might find it annoying being around a person who routinely does NOT? The boss seems to be frustrated and negative around me because I routinely don't live up to my word or committments. If you are a person who likes to make sure the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed, how would you feel being around a person who is routinely sloppy about their work and LATE. The boss frankly has every right to be frustrated about me; based on the above example.
If I however began to "listen for" my boss to be a person who is detail oriented, honours his word, knows what his shortcomings are; I can see him in a totally different light.
HERE'S THE CATCH. In order for me to change my "listening for", I must first be prepared to accept full responsibilty for myself. "If you can accept that you are the source of things, you can say how your life will go." This is not a spiritual statement in any way but rather an understanding of your functional day to day responsibility and contribution to your life and those around you. If you are a person who believes external things are always responsible for how your life is, you can never fully take responsibility for your life and enjoy the power of the life you have been given.
In order to change your "listening for", you must be prepared to accept a whole new level of responsibility in your life, and cease the idea that you are the product (or victim) of circumstances in the past. I have done that my whole life and now realize just how pathetic/lazy/and SELF DESTRUCTIVE that way of thinking is. Basically that is the easy way out. It takes much more effort to take responsibility than it does to blame something or someone else for how our life is RIGHT NOW. This thought has nailed me right between the eyes.
My marriage has suffered because I "listen for" certain types of things. Guess what; I find what I am listening for EVERY TIME. This lets me be right (as I predicted it) and my wife to be wrong. How unfair is that crap. I am declaring this day, a whole new level of responsibility for myself, and that is to "listen for" a completely different set of things from my wife. As a Christian I have been taught the principle of "meditating on things that are good". This connects to the concept of a persons "listening for".
I look forward to sharing in the NEAR future, how my wife and I have been impacted by what I "listen for".
The WebGodFather
Add this site to your RSS client: http://landmarkeducation-rocks.blogspot.com/atom.xml
You have possibly heard the term "self fulfilling prophecies". I have heard this term my whole life and believed it to be true, but what I did not realize till very recently is how far down the rabbit hole this goes. I have come to the conclusion for myself that my ENTIRE life is the sum of a lifetime of "listening for".
There are some phrases that for me became psychological cliches: "tell a kid he is stupid long enough, he'll believe it." But what I would challenge is that it goes deeper.
If for example you were told you were stupid, fat, ugly, great, gifted; you likely eventually believed it, and believed it to define who you are. (well the defining, we will leave for another post) This post is to be how that belief functionally impacts you on a day in day out basis forever afterwards.
Once again, if you were told you were stupid, then eventually went on to believe it, you would actually begin to "listen for" in your life, things from a "stupid" persons perspective. You would attract "stupid" friends, you would engage in stupid activities, you would believe stupid things. The phrase "guilt by association" is more related to how you had "listened for" in your life up to that point, so that now you had friends that fit the profile you now believed to be defining you.
But lets get to what "listening for" IS and where it shows up everyday for every human on the planet today;
"I hate my boss, he is so critical, when in fact, he has no clue how to do his own job!!". This is what people say, but did you realize that that same person will then start work at 9am "listening for" his/her boss to be critical, incompetant, and possibly evil. <grin> I know, none of you think this way. ha ha
The boss walks by and says, "Dan, that report you filed was inaccurate and I needed it yesterday!". I get defensive because I arrived at work expecting him to say any number of things just like that, because I was "listening for" him to BE a certain way. You always find what you're looking for. Now what is interesting about what my boss says in my example is that he is simply saying "what is so". The report WAS innaccurate, and I HAD promised it yesterday. But because I was "listening for" him to be critical, his simple declaration of the facts, through my listening, BECAME critical. It is hard to respect someone when you are expecting them to treat you poorly. This particular post connects to "you're living in a dreamworld". The world of the real, and the world of the imagined. Relationships are fractured because we don't even see that we are living in a dreamworld. My job may be in jeapardy because I am too busy "listening for" my boss be critical, and miss that I am not honouring my responsibilities.
What I have discovered is extremely powerful. I can make my "listening for" anything I want. Lets say we all agreed that my boss WAS a jerk and critical and whatever other negative possible thing. If you can accept there is nothing you can change in anyone else, and it is not your job to do so anyway, you can now begin to take responsibity by sculpting what your "listening for" will be.
"My boss is detail oriented, honours his word, knows where his shortcomings are." Can you imagine the difference THIS "listening for" would make, coming from me, applied to the above example. If you are someone who honours your word/integrity (you do what you say will do, when you say you will do it), do you think you might find it annoying being around a person who routinely does NOT? The boss seems to be frustrated and negative around me because I routinely don't live up to my word or committments. If you are a person who likes to make sure the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed, how would you feel being around a person who is routinely sloppy about their work and LATE. The boss frankly has every right to be frustrated about me; based on the above example.
If I however began to "listen for" my boss to be a person who is detail oriented, honours his word, knows what his shortcomings are; I can see him in a totally different light.
HERE'S THE CATCH. In order for me to change my "listening for", I must first be prepared to accept full responsibilty for myself. "If you can accept that you are the source of things, you can say how your life will go." This is not a spiritual statement in any way but rather an understanding of your functional day to day responsibility and contribution to your life and those around you. If you are a person who believes external things are always responsible for how your life is, you can never fully take responsibility for your life and enjoy the power of the life you have been given.
In order to change your "listening for", you must be prepared to accept a whole new level of responsibility in your life, and cease the idea that you are the product (or victim) of circumstances in the past. I have done that my whole life and now realize just how pathetic/lazy/and SELF DESTRUCTIVE that way of thinking is. Basically that is the easy way out. It takes much more effort to take responsibility than it does to blame something or someone else for how our life is RIGHT NOW. This thought has nailed me right between the eyes.
My marriage has suffered because I "listen for" certain types of things. Guess what; I find what I am listening for EVERY TIME. This lets me be right (as I predicted it) and my wife to be wrong. How unfair is that crap. I am declaring this day, a whole new level of responsibility for myself, and that is to "listen for" a completely different set of things from my wife. As a Christian I have been taught the principle of "meditating on things that are good". This connects to the concept of a persons "listening for".
I look forward to sharing in the NEAR future, how my wife and I have been impacted by what I "listen for".
The WebGodFather
Add this site to your RSS client: http://landmarkeducation-rocks.blogspot.com/atom.xml
posted by Daniel Hewton at
11:45 AM
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